Love Is Everything And Nothing

His name is NICK

2010-06-15T06:53:00.000-07:00

******* A WEEK LATER*************

25, Lower East Garden 7,Queensland. It was my new home with all brand new sets of furniture in Australia. Living in a newly environment without a single source of help from my parents was definitely a new challenge in my life. An undeniable fact that i would like to highlight: "REGRET was the word that kept on flowing through my mind. I should have grab some of my mummy's brilliant skill in handling the house chores before i left home. I can't even fix a proper meal for myself.".

School started on the second day after i arrived in Australia. Everyday was a busy hustle life. I could hardly catch my breath. First, it was about my paper documents and registration for the enrollment of my class. Then it was about the "orientation week" where all the freshmen must participate themselves in all the activities that were organized. And to my surprise, I was appointed as the leader for all the activities. In short, my working loads were like five times heavier than all my newly-made friends.

"ARGH!!!! Who on earth created this stupid "orientation week"? You made my life miserable!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME SOMEONE> HELP ME.!!!" i shouted to myself in the living room.

Just before i could continue with my next lines, I was interrupted by the door bell. I wondered who could it be at this lately hours. Slowly and cautiously, i walked to my doorstep and opened the door. It was a young man with his pyjamas.

"Hi, my name is Nick. I'm your neighbour and in fact, I am your senior too. The school has put me in-charge of your safety for this semester since we stay nearby. So,are you okay? I hear you screaming for help."he asked.

I was taken aback by his sudden appearance and my mouth was frozen like ice. I was hoping that i could dig a hole on the ground and hide myself there though i knew it was not going to work.

"Oh Hi my friendly neighbourhood. I'm Nicole. You are.... Nick. Am i right? erm... it was nothing. I was actually rehearsing for my play. Thanks for the concern" i replied him awkwardly.

Nick stared at me for a moment and laughed. I was stunned and i did not know what to do. My heart was racing like formula one.

CHAPTER FIVE: A New Start, A New Life

2010-01-06T19:46:00.000-08:00

Life without Sam was totally a disaster. Without him, I was nothing!! I just could not get him out of my mind. In the day, I acted perfectly normal as if nothing had happened where I occupied my time with all my assignments and revisions. Meanwhile in the midnight, when I was all alone in my room, i drowned myself with tears. I knew this was the stupidest thing that i ever did in my life but what could I do for I am blinded by your love.

I thought this would continue consecutively until the end of my life but it did not. Soon, I learnt how to get up on my feet again. Now, things became better. I became more open-minded and matured thinking than before. With God's constant help, I scored beautifully in my SPM examination and managed to get into a well-known University in Australia to further my tertiary studies. Everything happened too fast. It was like a dream.

Few months before I flew to Australia all by myself, I did a lot of shopping and packaging. Seriously at that time, I was very excited and yet nervous. Well, it was simply because this was my first time to Australia and also my very first time leaving my parents far behind and flew to a place that I was not familiar with. I knew this would definitely make me feel home-sick but there would be no turning back for me. This is my life, my future!! I want to mould it just in the way that I want it to be!!

**** 19 JANUARY 2005, 6.45 am ~~~ at the air port ***

"Goodbye honey, we will miss you. Remember to call me everyday or else, I will fly to Australia to give you some nice music of mine," mum shouted in my ear while embracing me in a warm hug.

"I will, mum. Hope the next time I see you; you are not as “naggy” as before. Look at me. I am a big girl now!! I can take good care of myself. So, don't you worry about me? I'll be fine. I promise,” I replied her with a sunshine smile.

Slowly after that, I turned to my old man (my dad) and gave him a tight hug. He gasped and hugged me back. Although he did not throw a single word to me, i knew he was worried about me too.

“Hey dad, you're the best", I said to him.

Soon, all my friends came over to greet me as well. It was so touching at that time when each and every one of them presented me with the cards and presents that they prepared. At that time, I failed to hold my tears. I squealed and gave them a hug before I headed to the gate.

It is a song that goes well with NIcole's feeling in the story. Enjoy!!

2010-01-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

Just Want You To Know- by Backstreet boys

Lookin' at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do
Could protect me from you that night
Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were, everything, everything to me.

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

All the doors are closing, I'm trying to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day,
The day you slipped away

And I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go (oh)
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That theres a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say (yeah)
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That since I lost you
I lost myself (ohhh)
No I can't fake it
There's no one else

So I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me (back to me)
But still I have to say (I have to say)
I would do it all again (do it all again)

I just want you to know (cuz I've been fighting)
That I've been fighting to let you go (ohh)
Some days I make it through (and then there's)
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe (yeah)
That there's a day you'll come back to me (but still)
But still I have to say (I have to say)
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

CHAPTER FOUR: Seperation

2009-09-17T09:08:00.000-07:00

The party was over. Everyone was asked to leave the party except Sam. I was so embarrassed with my mum’s action. I hardly could think that she would do such a thing to me. It was utterly a disgrace. Soon, we were called to the living room. There, we watched my parents quarrelling over some matters. Soon, Sam’s parent turned up. This was my first time meeting his parents though we were classmates for four years.

Their presence really made me felt uneasy as I thought it was just only a small matter. I turned to Sam and looked at him. Both of us were in a dilemma. “Should we interfere?” I asked him. Suddenly, Sam’s parent came towards us and took Sam away from me. I tried to stop them, as I was afraid that I would never get to see him again. We both struggled hard not to let ourselves to be separated. However, we still fail to do so.

Painfully, I saw Sam being dragged away by his dad. I turned to my mum and asked her for the reasons. She did not say a word but tears keep on flowing out from her eyes. After that night, I never see Sam and his family again. Some said they have shifted to another place and some said they have migrated to another country. I tried to contact him via phone call and e-mail but i just could not get through lines. I felt sad and helpless. I was just about to dive myself into his world and now, he just disappeared.

"Why is he avoiding me? . What should I do?", i asked myself several times.

CHAPTER THREE: TO COME OR NOT.

2009-03-13T06:59:00.000-07:00

After some time, mum seemed still having a penny for her thought. I wondered what was on her mind. Before I could catch the opportunity to ask her, she instructed me to go back to my room immediately without giving me a reply. I felt strange in a way because since primary, whenever I talked about Sam in front of her, she would definitely be like now.

Time fled very fast. Few weeks later, as I had promised Sam about the date, we met up in a small cafe. In the beginning, we felt uneasy and strange. Alas, Sam took the initial step to open a subject for our conversation. Then, we began to catch the mood and began to talk like before. We chitchatted for hours and hours yet we did not feel thirsty. Both of us were so excited when the old stories about our misbehavior during the primary school were brought up. It was indeed a fabulous time. We almost tear up our stomach and at times, our laughter did catch many people’s attention, wondering whether we WERE INSANE.

I glanced at my watch. It was 5 p.m in the noon. It was really late. Without wasting any further, I requested to end our conversation. Sam seemed to be in despair. So was I. All of a sudden, I remembered something that I almost forgot about it. “Today is my birthday! I’m throwing a birthday party!” my heart sang. Without hesitating, I quickly invited Sam to my party. He agreed. Then we both headed back to our home to get prepared readily.

At sharp 7 p.m, I stood at the front gate to receive my friends. All showed up except Sam. My imagination began to run wild, doubting about his presence in my party. Perhaps I should not put too much of hope on it.

The party started and all were having a great time with the activities that my parents planned. I just could not glue myself to be like them. My eyes were at a corner, aiming for his presence. Will he show up?

At first, I presumed my answer as NO because the party was almost reaching to the end yet I still fail to see his face. Suddenly, he showed up with a bouquet of flower. All my friends knew about this tiny surprise except me. Thereby, I assumed that as a plot of their games. Everyone went silent and ringed around Sam and me. My heart pumped very fast when Sam looked at me with a leer. He looked so serious and nervous. "Oh, i need more oxygen!!"

Slowly, Sam went forward and held my hands. Everyone was clapping their hands and shouted… “Sam, you rock!! That’s my boy!!” Then, everyone went quite again, waiting for Sam to take the next consecutive steps.

“Nicole, erm… hi!!” Sam said~ everyone was laughing.

“Hi!!!” I replied him as a manner to him and to save him from the laughing stock.

“Erm… Nicole, if you just realize… actually I'm already in love with you since primary. I wondered if you have noticed it. I know it's a little bit late but I think it’s better than never. Now, in front of everyone here, as my witnesses, I would like to ask you a question. You may choose not to answer. No matter what it is, I will respect your choice. I promise. ” Sam said.

I nodded my head, taking it as a YES to his question but before Sam could continue his question, mum disrupted his plan with her loud voice coming out from the back of us. “No, stop it!” she shouted.

CHAPTER TWO: COINCIDENCE.

2009-03-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

One fine sunny day, I was on my way home from school. It was 2 p.m. in the afternoon. In the nick of time, I had a very strong feeling that I must rush back home immediately. Well, it was simply because I was too hungry! Trust me,I had not eaten since the “quick breakfast” that I ate in the morning. All thanked to my Chemistry teacher and her presentation. Without wasting any further, I quicken my strides and ran back home with all my mighty strength on the busy buzz ling road. Suddenly, I accidentally knocked down a boy who was also in a rush. That was how our starting points began to crossover each other.

“Ouch, that’s hurt…! “, he cried.

“Oh… I apologize. I do not mean it. I was in a rush. Please let me help you.” I told him.

I shouted with a joy when the boy lifted his head up.

“ Oh, My God! Is it you? Sam Rutherhood? The one who always bicker with me in the class! ”, I said.

“Erm… you are?” he asked me with an uncertain expression.

“Don’t you remember? It’s me, Nicole Shalinee” I replied.

“Oh, I think I do remember you. It is just that now, you are very much different from the past. Hahah… I must confess that you are much TALLER. Nice to meet you again, my friend!!” he said with a sarcastic look.

Sam was my old primary school classmate. It had been decades since we met. As both of us were in a rush, we only merely get a chance to exchange our phone numbers. After that, we both headed to our own respective destinations. The day went on and nothing happened. Everything was going perfectly. Beyond my prediction, few weeks later, Sam gave me a phone ring. He asked me out for a date and it was on my birthday!

“Oh my goodness! He does remember my birthday and he is asking me for a date! Am I dreaming? If it is so, I just hope this dream would never end… Argh… I just cannot believe it” I monologued to myself after hanging the phone.

That night, I could not shut my eyes. I was on the top of the world. Thus, I decided to turn to my mum to have a talk with her. Creepily, without my father's knowledge, I went into my mum’s room.

“Knock, knock, knock. Hey mum, it’s me, Nicole. Can I come in?” I asked.

The door was ajar. So, I pushed the door and walked in quietly. Quickly, I sat beside my mum and began to throw my words on her. I told her that I was in love with Sam since primary four. However, we stopped contacting each other right after our UPSR examination.

After hearing that, mum went quite for a moment. She seemed troubled. I did not know what to do but to stare at her blurry.

Chapter ONE :AN UNWANTED BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!

2009-03-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, 5TH JULY, is my birthday! I should be jubilant but I did not want to celebrate it. Whenever it came to the day, I just could not afford myself not to swing my temper or bawl my head off at a corner that no one could see. I tried to let it go and been working hard to stand on my feet again but… I still fail to do so! The inner and the physical pain that I was having, was the worst that I ever had. Who can come and ease my pain? Will a miracle appear in my life? How long would it take to do so? These… were the sillies yet unanswered questions that were rolling in my head. “Oh, this is sickening”, I told myself.

Initially, I thought everything was going smoothly and all were under my control. I did not expect that this would be the outcome of my mistake. From a naïve, innocent and cheerful girl, I turned into a solemn and mature girl who no longer knew what happiness was. Apart from the brightness, darkness seemed to be my permanent life partner. Perhaps one day, by a slip of fate, I might run out from this circumference. Who knew maybe a minute later, this tiny wish would be fulfilled! As the saying goes,
“You can never foresee your future!”

All of a sudden, a gentle breeze blew and fluttered the leaves of the shabby tree. I lifted my head and looked up. A multitude of birds flew high up in the sky and sang joyfully. I wondered whether they were as happy as I thought. How I wished I could be like them. By possessing a pair of wings like them, I strongly believed, I could fly to a world that no longer knew pain and suffer. After all, I knew all these were just only my imagination because all these were not real.

As I thought further about the pain, tears glistened in my sparkling eyes and streamed down my cheeks. My heart sank and was on pain, as if there were thousand of thorns pierced through my heart. Slowly, I turned my head and faced the old wise woman. It was Mrs. Tan, Sam’s mum. Tears of sorrow glistened down her chubby cheeks when she started starring at the lovely tombstone and sat beside it. It is Sam. No, it WAS Sam, my first crush and also the man who changed my life completely.

‘Oh no, what am I doing?’ I asked myself.

Quickly, I drew my tissues out from my bag and moved my way to her. As I walked along the greenly grassy field, the bitter sad memory began to bring me back to past. It was still very fresh in my mind though it happened long ago…

Introduction

2009-03-13T06:35:00.000-07:00

Love? How much do you understand about love? Is it a toy or a type of feeling that grows within human? How does this feeling grow?

According to ‘Oxford dictionary’, love is a very strong, pleasant feeling about a person; sexual feeling or desire. Oops… I must correct it! That is just only a small part of the meaning of LOVE. Well, if you really want to know more about the meaning of LOVE, please don’t be lazy! Use any ENGLISH dictionary to find out the real and exact meaning of love. It don’t cost you much time, my friend.

Okay. Now, I will stop all these nonsense because time is GOLD. Without wasting any further, I will start my story that actually also related to love. Well, if I am not mistaken, before you forearm yourself to dive into my story, you might just wonder whether the story that you are going to read is just only a make up story or a true story! Am I right? Either it is true or not, I hope you all will enjoy my story because. I took a very long time to finish up this story. Hahah… feel free to write your comments about my story. Okay? As a reader, you have the right but make sure it’s not too blunt. So, stay nice and enjoy my story.